Author Archives for Cynthia Silva Parker

August 8, 2022

When urgency is actually necessary: Making Change at a Human Pace

“The times are urgent, let us slow down.”
Bayo Akomolafe, The Emergence Network

Image by anncapictures from Pixabay

Thanks in part to the work of Tema Okun, Dr. Kenneth Jones, and DismantlingRacismWorks, we have been leaning into the characteristics of white supremacy culture for decades. I find the sense of urgency particularly challenging. Okun and Jones define it as “our cultural habit of applying a sense of urgency to our every-day lives in ways that perpetuate power imbalance while disconnecting us from our need to breathe and pause and reflect. The irony is that this imposed sense of urgency serves to erase the actual urgency of tackling racial and social injustice.”

I struggle with this regularly. In the early days of the pandemic, IISC wrestled with what contribution we could make. I had to temper my desire to move quickly with a sober assessment of our actual human capacity. Even now, on any given day, our team – and the staff and volunteers practically everywhere I turn – ranges from sick, exhausted, and overwhelmed to joyful, optimistic in the midst of it all, and eagerly seeking new possibilities. I continue to remind myself that we can only go as fast as we can go, even if that doesn’t seem fast enough given the conditions around us. 

Therein lies the struggle. The work of making a better, more just world IS urgent. People are paying with their lives every day because of the way our society is constructed. Take health as an example. Healthcare is a for-profit industry and the profit motive drives who gets treated, what kinds of treatments are approved or even exist, and what unhealthy conditions are allowed to persist. Access to healthcare is granted mostly as a privilege for people with certain kinds of jobs, rather than to all people as a human right. People are dying every day because of this. Getting care to people who need it most – people who are unhoused, and/or unemployed, disabled, elderly, or otherwise unable to participate in the paid labor force – is urgent. At the same time, we have to devote attention to the necessary, long-term work of building political will and shifting the political system in the direction of making health care a human right. Otherwise, we’ll be forever doing the urgent work of helping people on the margins to survive. As our friends in public health remind us, we have to “get upstream” to stop the “flow” of people who need urgent support that the system doesn’t provide. 

Generations of warriors for justice have taught us that the struggle for justice is costly and urgent. In my earliest days of political formation, my mentors argued (sometimes explicitly and sometimes by example) that I didn’t deserve a good night’s sleep or many creature comforts because people were suffering and dying every day due to racism and poverty. This led me to an unhealthy kind of self-denial and overwork. While my group members saw me as productive and committed, in the eyes of some folks who I was both critiquing and attempting to recruit, I appeared unbearably self-righteous and absolutely no fun to be around. 

This posture didn’t win over a lot of new people to our way of thinking and it ingrained in me a habit of ignoring my own needs that has been extremely hard to break. While I can say with conviction to others that “self-care isn’t selfish,” and “it’s essential to find joy in the midst of struggle,” I still have trouble taking my own advice sometimes. I’m making progress, though it’s slow! I still hold onto this quote from George Bernard Shaw: “I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no ‘brief candle’ to me. It is sort of a splendid torch which I have a hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it over to future generations.” 

Image by 1239652 from Pixabay

One thing I find striking and encouraging about the current generation of racial justice activists is their explicit focus on wholeness, healing, belonging, and restoration – think of emergent strategy and the work of healing justice to name just a few. We are beginning to recognize that we can’t do any of this necessary and urgent work at the expense of people and relationships. And I think we still have a long way to go. 

If we want to make change at the scale of an entire society and beyond, we have to find new ways and rediscover ancient ways of doing both the urgent work of survival and the urgent work of structural change in ways that don’t exhaust and exploit the people doing that work and that make space for new more beautiful ways of being together. At IISC, as we take up this challenge and offer what we can share, I’m trying to remain vigilant so that a sober assessment of the urgent need for justice doesn’t push me toward dominant-culture ways of pressing beyond the capacity of our human community. 

How are you replacing a dominating sense of urgency with an appropriate sense of urgency that honors and cares for people?

Leave a comment
July 25, 2022

Fascists in our Front Yard

When the Patriot Front marched in Boston earlier this month and assaulted Charles Murrell, a Black artist and activist, city officials and residents alike were taken by surprise. The Patriot Front was back in Boston over the weekend, this time in Jamaica Plain, spewing their vile ideology on the LGBTQ community. We can’t claim to be surprised any more. According to the Boston Globe, the Patriot Front has been building a constituency right here, in one of the supposedly most liberal states in the country. And they have spent more time in Massachusetts than other places over the past few years. This isn’t in our “backyard” folks. This is the front yard, where we can’t deny it any more.

I used to think of the visible, vocal, and sometimes violent displays of racism as the death throes of a dying beast. But white nationalism is reproducing itself, finding support among a whole new generation of young people. We’re told that these extremist groups offer the allure of physical discipline, gun-toting machismo, community, and ideological unity. It’s frightening to me, though not surprising, that this ideology has such allure; an ideology laden with hatred and lies that obscure the real drivers of economic insecurity and political polarization and instead scapegoat people of color and LGBTQ people. It’s literally a page from the Nazi’s playbook.

If nothing else, January 6, 2021 should have taught us that it’s time to get behind efforts to prevent and intervene on the radicalization of young white people. Since 911, law enforcement has had a relentless focus on monitoring radicalization of young Muslim men, trampling civil liberties and demonizing whole communities in the process. Police have been monitoring Black and Brown street gangs for generations, also often trampling civil liberties and justifying police violence in the process. When young white men become radicalized, the strategy seems to be “do nothing,”  and to explain away any crimes they commit by focusing on their mental health and social marginalization. I’m not calling for a trampling of their civil liberties, or justifying the abuses of Muslim, Black and Brown youth at the hands of police. But I am calling on us as a society to take the radicalization of young white people seriously. In the words of Wajahat Ali, author of Deradicalizing White People, “I have lost count of how many times I have been asked as a Muslim, ‘Where are the moderate Muslims?’ So allow me to ask, ‘Where are the moderate whites, and what are they doing to combat extremism?’” 

What are we – those of us working for social justice – doing to combat extremism in our communities? It’s not a problem over there, in “red America,” it’s right here, in our front yard.

Leave a comment
June 7, 2022

More Online Gatherings? Yes, Please!

Photo by Chris Montgomery on Unsplash

These days, folks love to hate Zoom as much as they used to love to hate meetings in general. And “Zoom fatigue” is a problem most folks didn’t even have until the last couple of years. I know from experience how taxing it can be to interact with people through a computer or phone screen all day long. AND, for a minute, I want to sing the praises of online gatherings. 

Online gatherings can be powerful. I’ve born witness to deep heart-opening moments and moments of relational repair in online meetings. I’ve seen people have important moments of insight and learning. I’ve seen folks inspire one another and discover their power to speak into difficult situations and confront unjust dynamics within their organizations. And, I’ve seen folks share important information and make really strategic decisions. It’s all about how you create and hold the space. When we bring the best of what we know about creating containers for meaningful engagement, designing for the whole person, the magic can still happen.  

Online learning can be more fruitful than in-person learning. Before the pandemic began, most of our workshops were in person for two or three days at a time. As we transitioned to online learning, we broke the content up into smaller bites (typically 3 hours) and spread sessions out over several days or weeks. We’re finding that participants enjoy taking in content in smaller doses, absorbing the information,  and practicing a little before layering on the next set of ideas. 

Online gatherings can reduce the time, effort, and resources needed to participate. Since 2020, I have been able to participate in waaaay more conferences, convenings, and gatherings than I would have in the ‘before times.” I’ve been able to gather wisdom and inspiration from the Movement for Black Lives, Race Forward, and the Othering and Belonging Institute, to name just a few. I’ve participated in somatics workshops and disability justice workshops, and connected regularly with peers who are committed to deepening our practice of equity. I’ve been co-learning and co-leading a peer exploration at the intersections of racism and classism. And as a volunteer, I’ve been able to get deeply involved with the Poor People’s Campaign and both learn from powerful leaders from across the country and plan with leaders from across our state. On the flip side, while the cost of an online gathering isn’t zero, it can cost a lot less and make it possible to engage more people. While an online meeting does expend energy, I’d be surprised if the carbon footprint of a Zoom meeting exceeded a trip by car, train, or airplane.

Online gatherings have been good for my health. Because I haven’t been traveling for work and because full-day events are rare, there are rarely multi-day stretches where I’m 100%  involved with only one group. This has meant much less late-night hustling for one group before an all-day in-person event for another. And I’ve done literally no late night work on train rides between NYC and Boston after a full work day (a regular feature of my work life before COVID). As someone who is chemically sensitive, it was not unusual for me to have to wear a mask to deal with chemical exposure in hotels and offices long before the pandemic. As someone with food allergies, eating on the road is fraught with difficulties. In the world of online work, it’s been a blessing to work from spaces where I can control fragrances and chemical exposure as well as my own meals. I have heard from others with chronic conditions and mobility challenges that online participation has enabled them to participate more fully in things that matter to them, with an important caveat. While we’re getting good at using features like chats and breakout rooms, we haven’t done as well with accessibility needs like ASL, spoken language interpretation, captioning, or other aids for folks with visual challenges.

Of course, there are caveats to all of these upsides to online gatherings. They can be boring, taxing, and even exclusionary. They can make it possible to sit still for too long, strain our wrists and hands, and spend too much time with our screens. They can make it possible to say yes to too many good things and thereby fail to carve out space for other meaningful things in our lives. They can create real accessibility problems for folks without a reliable internet connection or device. And, given the limited ability for participants to engage with one another as they would choose, there are a lot of power dynamics to address and manage. Still, the rise of online meetings in response to the pandemic has taught us that if we design carefully, facilitate attentively, and address equity and access issues, they can be a vehicle for more participation, less environmental damage, and more powerful thinking and action. 

4 Comments
May 23, 2022

MICRO-BLOG: Joyful!

I had already fallen in love with Dante Bowe’s song Joyful just from listening to the track. But when I saw his video today, it stopped me in my tracks. Dante oozes a joy that is grounded in a deep spirituality and a deep connection to community. This is a great anthem, an ode to #Blackjoy and to the power of choosing joy. Even when the events of the world constantly envelope us in fear, anger, grief, and hopelessness, we can choose joy. As we used to say in Sunday School, joy is choosing to be happy, even when things don’t go our way. There is so much that is not going our way in this country and around the world. And yet, without denying the forces arrayed against us, we can still choose joy. We can choose to build a deeply grounded sense of community. We can choose joy that doesn’t have to wait for poverty, war, racism, and oppression to cease. We can choose joy “in the midst.” I hope this video puts a spring in your step and joy in your heart, even as we struggle together to create a better world.

Leave a comment
April 16, 2021

How Long?

Ehimetalor Akhere Unuabona, on Unsplash

Reading about Adam Toledo this morning has me wondering, in the words of Sweet Honey in the Rock

how long, how much more long, how long
how long, how much more long, how long
I wanna know how much more longer is I just gonna have to wait on you?

This society has wired the fear of Black people so deeply into the psyche of so many white people that a 13-year-old can be killed by police while surrendering. 

And it has created conditions where too many people turn to all-too-readily available guns to settle disputes and vent their frustrations. Whether that’s in a Chicago neighborhood, an Indianapolis FedEx center, an Atlanta massage parlor, or a Colorado supermarket. And too few politicians are brave enough to do anything about it. 

It has wired the fear of a country not dominated by a white majority so deeply into the psyche of so many white people that they are willing to do anything to continue to oppress Black, Indigenous, Latinx, and Asian-American people, reduce the political power of their vote, and  normalize violence against them as well as against actions of government that are meant to reduce their oppression. Last summer, an eloquent and fed-up activist said of Black people that white people should be happy that we only want equality, not revenge. She’s right, but I think the fear of the moment that white people will not be an absolute majority is driven by the fear of revenge and “replacement.”

It has wired the “otherness” so deeply that the society continues to reproduce racist ideas and actions among its youngest members … so deep that white high schoolers can think it’s ok to “auction off” their Black counterparts online. And little Black children still cry because they don’t think they are beautiful.

I am a woman of faith, and firmly believe that it IS possible to have a country and a world without exclusion and oppression; a world where there is no “bottom” that people will do anything to avoid; a world where everyone has enough to thrive; a world where no one goes to bed hungry, no one is unhoused, no one is sick or addicted and unable to get treatment, no one has to suffer indignities on the job or in their communities, no one has to fear that they or their loved ones will not return home safely; a world where we live humbly with one another as humans and in harmony with the rest of creation and with our Creator. Where we are each driven by the desire to ensure goodness for everyone.

How long will it take to get there? No one can say. But on days like today, it seems so very far away. And yet, on we travel toward that day. May we each do our part to build that world. 

1 Comment
March 24, 2020

Living and Working Virtually in Uncertainty: Balancing the Dimensions of Success

Facilitative Leaders balance three essential dimensions of success: results, process, and relationship. That means not just paying attention to getting the job done successfully, but paying attention to the relationships among people along the way, and to the processes and use of resources to get it done. Most leaders tend to emphasize one of these dimensions more than the others. That it makes it important to create teams with people who are inclined to focus on different dimensions. That way the effort is more likely to experience three-dimensional success.

Dimensions of Success

© Interaction Institute for Social Change

Typically, when in doubt or under stress, I default to process. I’m asking questions like: Are we including all the right people? Do we have the resources we need in place? Can we get it done on the timeline we envision? Sometimes, like recently at IISC, I’ve been defaulting to results. On a recent Monday, we began thinking through how to create some short webinars focused on bringing love, equity, and network practices to virtual meetings. The question was how to offer something that was uniquely IISC, that could be useful in this time of uncertainty and virtual working, and that wouldn’t require more than we had to invest in the effort.

I was focused on the results. We have a lot of content and enough know-how to create something that could be really useful that could be complementary to the resources we’ve seen others share recently. As for process, I thought we could put together a viable product with minimal effort, and I wanted to engage the relevant stakeholders within IISC early. As expected, bringing in a broader set of players kept making the ideas better. As for relationship, I was focused on doing this in ways that honored our different kinds of expertise. I was hoping this would also build our team spirit through an “all hands on deck” experience that didn’t create much stress.

But I was wrong … As the week progressed, it seemed that around every corner there was a new technical impediment that made the effort seem less and less simple. And, team members were feeling more and more burdened by this new effort on top of various personal and workplace challenges. So, in order not to get way out of balance in our efforts to help others get in balance, we are rethinking the project. In the meanwhile, here are a few ideas about how you can attend to results, process, and relationship as you design and facilitate your virtual meetings.

Results

  • Establish clear desired outcomes. What are we trying to accomplish in this meeting?
  • Make sure the outcomes are can be accomplished in the time allotted. If your team is new to virtual meetings, you may need to make the outcomes even more bite-sized than usual.
  • Make sure the outcomes are relevant and meaningful to the participants, particularly in light of everything else they have on their minds.

Process

  • Remember your best in-the-room meeting processes
    • Make sure you have a clear agenda. Ask for input and feedback on the agenda before the meeting.
    • Assign or ask for volunteers to facilitate, keep time, and take notes.
  • Especially for virtual meetings
    • Assign virtual meeting roles (e.g., people to check the chat, help with technical problems, check the energy in the virtual room, etc.).
    • Create multiple opportunities for engagement within each agenda item (e.g., spoken comments, chat, white board, writing in a shared document).
    • Use visuals (e.g., slides, shared documents).
    • Call on people, mix up the speaking order with each conversation.
    • Ask a question and have each person “toss” to another person until everyone has answered.
    • If you don’t have access to video conferencing, use real-time shared documents (like Google Docs) to create notes that everyone can see and contribute to while the call is in progress.
    • Keep audio-only participants in the loop, by updating them on anything you’re sharing visually and remembering to invite them into the conversation.

Relationships

  • Begin and end with time to connect personally, through full-group check-ins and check outs.
  • Use breakout rooms to increase opportunities to connect.
  • If you (or some of your participants) don’t have access to video conferencing, create a visual team roster in your shared document so everyone can see a photo of everyone on the call.
  • While it may not always be appropriate to have other household members “pop in” to your meetings, we make a point of acknowledging and welcoming children, partners, other household members, and pets when they pop into the room. Especially in these times, far from being unwelcomed distractions, we view these moments as precious opportunities to really see our colleagues.

All the best as you balance the dimensions of success in these trying times. And stay tuned. More resources are coming – whether they are webinars or something else remains to be seen.  🙂

Leave a comment
March 13, 2020

Living (and Working Virtually) in Uncertainty

Artist: Prawny

By the time you see this post, you will no doubt have read a lot of reflections on this time of uncertainty. In a recent IISC staff check-in, we lifted up several principles and practices to support our community as we, like so many other organizations, move to largely virtual work. We hope these ideas will provide some comfort and guidance to you, as well.

Lean into relationships.

The COVID19 crisis brings into stark relief an awareness that we’ve long held dear. We are all connected and the well-being of each of us is important to the well-being of all of us. So, first and foremost, we want to lean into our relationships, engaging with our colleagues, clients, and partners as people first. If ever there was a time for people to know how much you care, it’s now.  You can demonstrate that care in very practical ways.

  • Pause and connect. Whether it’s a one-on-one conversation or a meeting, make space to find out how folks are doing before diving into what they are (or should/shouldn’t be) doing.
  • Think respect. Knowing what we know about human differences and structural inequities, expect that people will have different perspectives and experiences of these uncertain times. Respect will look different for different people. So, upgrade your Golden Rule (do to others as you’d have them do to you) with the Platinum Rule (do to others as they’d have you do to them). Find out what respect and support look like from their point of view.
  • If in doubt, communicate. Connect with people more, not less. Be as clear as you can about actions, risks, policies, and open questions. Be clear about how decisions are being made and when/how contingency plans might go into effect.
  • Pick up the phone to handle tough or emotional conversations. Enhance that with video conferencing whenever possible so folks can see one another.
  • Minimize unnecessary emails to leave room for critical communication.
  • Be a spirit, not a ghost. In other words, let folks know that you’re available. Don’t let virtual work turn into a disappearing act. Reach out to colleagues through whatever communications mechanisms you have at your disposal.

Deepen trust.

Now is a time for us to deepen our trust in both people and the process. When we know who’s around us and what they are about, and when we have confidence that they operate with integrity, transparency, and skillfulness, it’s much easier to trust leaders and the processes that they facilitate.

  • Continue to tap into one another’s strengths as individuals and as a collective. Remind yourself of what you and others are good at. Connect to folks within your network who are good at different things from you.
  • Trust the process. This is often easier said than done. It’s easier to do work in community when we trust our leaders and have experienced their commitment to transparency and to our core values. Here are some of IISC’s core values:
    • Shared power: People have a right to be involved in the decisions that affect them so they have influence over the quality of their lives
    • Love: We believe in the dignity of all human beings and in taking care of each other and of our planet. Love is a force for social change.
    • Accountability: We align our work with frontline and grassroots communities of color most impacted by racism in general and this crisis in particular. 

Take appropriate actions.

  • Take care of yourself so you can take care of people around you. If ever there were a time to “put on your own mask before helping others,” as the airlines advise in an emergency, it’s now. Everything we can do to stay healthy makes us able to resist the virus, reduce the likelihood of spreading it, and be in a position to support others at work, at home, and in our communities.
  • Take risks for what we might do. As a small organization, we face economic and other risks, just like every other nonprofit, foundation, and small company. We may need to take some financial or other risks in order to support our colleagues and serve our clients in these times.
  • Don’t let perfection be the enemy of good. While it’s important to be prudent and thorough, we don’t want to be immobilized by a false expectation that we can act with perfection. In fact, that expectation is a marker of white supremacy culture that we’d do well to abandon in general, and especially in these times. Let’s figure out what “good” looks like and move forward.

An addendum: Given the specific conversation we were having as a staff, we didn’t discuss several very common sense and justice-oriented actions beyond our work community. Here are a few other important actions that we can take as individuals and as a society.

  • Keep yourself informed about how to avoid spreading the virus. The CDC’s guidance for individuals and businesses is a good place to start. If you see something in social media that’s hard to believe (or if it’s new, outrageous, and too easy to believe), be sure to fact-check it before heading the advice or sharing it with others. Start with the World Health Organization’s Myth Busters page and sites like Snopes.com.
  • Support mutual-aid efforts in your community. Check with your local Black Lives Matter chapter for starters.*
  • Support the hourly workers in your life and community. “Tip outrageously if you are out. Say, ‘This is for the tips I know you’re missing right now.’ Call your hair stylist if you’re not coming in like usual. Ask how they are doing. Send your tip or the cost of your haircut via Venmo.*
  • Advocate for government action. Remember that our government is supposed to be of, by, and for the people. Let your local, state, and national representatives know what you and your community need. Advocate for school districts to keep feeding children even if schools are closed. Insist that evictions be halted during the emergency and help people find support if they face eviction. Insist that water and utility shut-offs be halted during the emergency. Help people connect with legal aid if needed in these situations. Support efforts to provide economic relief to hourly workers and small businesses. Insist that everyone needs access to health care and all workers need paid sick leave. “Call and … talk as long as you want. Tell whoever answers the phone that you think healthcare should be for everyone. Now more than ever.”* See this list of demands from organizers for even more concrete things to demand from the government to protect the public and especially the most vulnerable members of our communities in these times.**

*Thanks to Jen Lemen for these ideas. Check out her post 31 Things You Can Do in the Time of Corona Virus for even more.

** Thanks to our friends at Change Elemental for this. See more ideas in their message, With Care

Cultivate a strategic, collaborative mindset.

Human actions are driven by a complex set of factors, including how we are thinking, how we are feeling, and the relationship between the two. In times of uncertainty, we want to lean into a few essential aspects of the collaborative mindset. 

  • Assume the best. Without overlooking the difference between intent and impact, we also want to make the generous assumption that everyone is doing their best to show up and contribute.
  • Offer and receive grace. If people make mistakes, offend, cause harm, or miss opportunities to do good, we want to offer grace and forgiveness. This isn’t an effort to erase the harm or error. Rather, it’s an offer to see the whole person and support them as they correct or repair. If we are the ones making the mistakes or causing harm, we invite ourselves to be gentle with ourselves, avoid self-shaming, and graciously receive grace that is offered by our colleagues.
  • See challenges as opportunities and growth.Like “trust the process,” this is not new advice. And yet, in these times, it’s especially important to look for opportunities as we survey the landscape. We’re asking questions like: How can we move important work forward without face-to-face gatherings? How can we share our particular strengths in this moment? How can we repurpose “found time” that will no longer be used for workshops or convenings so that we can advance projects that have been waiting for time and attention? How can we improve our communications and deepen our relationships?

When we introduce IISC’s Dimensions of Success framework, we point out that the goal is for leaders to balance their attention on results, process, and relationship over time. The corollary is that sometimes, as collaborative leaders, we need to focus more heavily on one dimension than the others. In these times, it’s hard to overdo the focus on relationships. And, if we’re going to achieve the results we are seeking to manifest in the world, it’s essential that we build or strengthen our processes so that they are sturdy enough to carry us through these tough times.

So, as you go about your day-to-day work, and even as that work is interrupted and transformed, we hope that you’ll hold tight to the people around you, stand firm on your values, and take the actions you can to mitigate the crisis. Let’s all strive to water seeds of hope and nurture the seedlings of possibility, wherever we find them.   

Leave a comment
December 16, 2019

Advancing Racial Justice in Organizations:

Equipping your Race, Equity, and Inclusion Team to Lead Organizational Change

Are you an “accidental equity leader” in your organization, or one that is regularly tapped on the shoulder to address equity and inclusion challenges? Ever wonder how on earth to get your smart, passionate collection of staff, board members, and other stakeholders on the same page about what racial equity means for your work? Ever wish you and your team had more strategies and skills for moving your organization from affirming racial justice values to adopting racial justice practices and pursuing equitable outcomes? 

IISC is delighted to announce a new cohort-based learning experience designed to equip existing or nascent equity teams. This experience builds on our workshop Advancing Racial Justice in Organizations, creating deeper opportunities for learning and action than are possible in the one-day workshop format.

We know that operationalizing racial justice values and pursuing racial equity requires not just insight and information, but also changes to organizational culture, systems, process, and practices. Whether you are leading a single organization or a network, and whatever issues you address, you need a carefully designed plan and process for making those changes together. And, in order to design and facilitate such a collaborative process, you need a team that is well-equipped to guide your stakeholders to learn and plan together. 

This cohort experience is an exciting opportunity to learn with your colleagues (you’ll come with a team of five or six people), leaders of other groups (the cohort will include four organizations or networks), and IISC’s team (an experienced pair of consultant/trainers). The experience includes: 

  • A detailed application process with prompts to guide your team’s thinking about organization’s readiness, assets, and challenges
  • In-depth pre-work assignments to continue exploring your organizational and personal strengths and growing edges
  • A webinar to establish shared language and analysis 
  • A two-day workshop to learn together 
  • A virtual peer coaching session 
  • Two virtual coaching sessions with the IISC team

You can download more information and the application here.

Leave a comment
June 10, 2019

Taking the Interaction Method Home

The Parker Clan

IISC is about to celebrate 25 years of service and my husband and I just celebrated 27 years of marriage. One of my colleagues asked how being part of IISC has influenced my marriage. I tell workshop participants all the time that using at home the collaborative methods and mindset that we teach will make it easy to use them at work. They will also make your home life better because they are rooted in values that are all about building up others and working together toward important common goals. Sounds like family life to me!

When I’m on my best behavior at home (as a mom, wife, sister, daughter, daughter-in-law) I use lots of what I have learned and teach at IISC. It’s also true that when I’m on bad behavior, I’ve usually forgotten or laid aside what I’ve learned. Here’s a sampler …

  • Distinguish content and process. Use appropriate processes for the outcomes and people you’re working with. Pay special attention to process and how people are relating to one another.
  • Be clear about my role in the conversation. Am I participating? Just facilitating? Coaching?
    • When I am a participant, bias toward asking questions that build understanding and help ideas to emerge. Engage with what others are saying rather than just advocating for my own ideas.
    • When coaching, ask questions and share observations that help the coachee to gain insight. Before giving advice, be sure the person wants it.
    • When I’m just facilitating, don’t do the work for the group or turn the conversation toward me or my ideas. Help them to think it out.
  • In all cases, inquire before advocating. And then inquire some more!
  • Be clear about who’s the decision maker and involve others appropriately in the process. Remember that even when I have the authority to make a decision, I will still want to consider ways to involve others who will be affected by that decision. And, be sure to explain my rationale.
  • Remember that big agreements are often built through a series of small agreements.
  • Remember IISC’s collaboration lens:
    • Networks – Remember that my family is part of a broader network. Cultivate relationships, build the capacity of everyone in the network to be strong, contributing members, build a gift culture.
    • Exercise “power with” rather than “power over.” Again, even when I do have power over (as with a small child), bias toward building the person’s power to discern and act on their best motivations rather than just imposing my will.
    • Work for equitable outcomes, matching my strategies to the individual needs. Recognize that people will experience the family and the world differently based on their identity.
    • Nurture the love that does justice. Deeply honor the humanity of everyone, even people we disagree with.
  • When in conflict, don’t be overly wedded to my position. Reveal and encourage others to reveal the underlying interests and look for common ground. Explore options without commitments before trying to move toward an agreement.
  • Be clear and specific about feedback. And only offer it when you are genuinely committed to the other person’s improvement. Make sure to give reinforcing feedback as well as constructive feedback.
  • Remember where you are in the open-narrow-close stages of building an agreement. Don’t start to narrow (analyze options) too early or good ideas may not emerge. Don’t close (make an agreement) until you’ve got all the ideas on the table and have thought them through together.
  • And, of course, many of our norms for collaboration:  Remember it’s ok to disagree. Listen for understanding. Enable empathy and compassion. Take space/make space. Keep it real. Keep it here. Take responsibility for impact, regardless of intent.

I’m curious about what’s on your list folks!!

Years ago, I used to joke (only half kiddingly) with Ron and Susan Kertnzer, who were affiliates and former staff of Interaction Associates who were married to each other. After participating in a workshop that they facilitated, I thought we should create a workshop called “The Learning Marriage and the Facilitated Family.” The skills we teach could strengthen some basic building blocks of our society. And, if we would learn and use these skills at home, using them at work would be second nature! That idea never got out of the discussion phase. Who knows whether it’s an idea whose time will eventually come!?!

Leave a comment
September 5, 2018

Confront or Collaborate

IISC exists to bring the best of collaborative practice to the work of social justice and sustainability. In the early years, some of our detractors felt we were too apolitical, that our call to “get the whole system in the room” was naïve at best and dangerous at worst. Without a power analysis, collaboration across traditional lines of authority, role and identity was of limited interest to some of the organizers and activists we knew. Collaboration might be a good idea for the allies, they thought, but it was silly to think that bringing the power brokers or counterproductive actors in the system into the room with those most affected would lead to meaningful results. That was the early and mid 1990s.

In some ways, our critics were right and we knew it. By the late 1990s, we began to bring diversity and cultural competency explicitly into our framework. After all, collaboration is about working together, and working together across race, class, culture, and role are part and parcel of that kind of work. We stretched our core methodology. We expanded the boundaries of cultural competency to include understanding historic and present-day structural dynamics of oppression and taking action to address structural factors. By the early 2000s we were crystalizing an understanding of power, network theory, and love as critical dimensions of collaboration. Since the late 2000s, we’ve been building tools and methods to bring power, equity, and inclusion into the center of our practice. The next stage of this evolving practice has been an increasingly sharp focus on racial justice in particular, to the point where the pursuit of racial equity is part of our stated mission. And, I’m excited to see how many people see the value of bringing that enriched understanding of collaborative practice to their work for racial justice. At the same time, I’m struck by the continuing importance of protest and civil disobedience to the pursuit of justice.

In this particular moment brings a question into sharp relief in this particular moment. When is it necessary to completely disrupt life or business as usual in order to shine a light on injustices and pursue justice? Can that kind of disruption be done in a collaborative way? What’s the role for confrontation?

I am indebted to Linda Stout and her colleagues at Spirit in Action for their 4Rs approach to social change. They recognize that there are times for Resisting violations of shared values and human rights; Reforming existing systems; Reimagining alternative futures; and Reinventing communities, organizations, and societies from the ground up to reflect the kinds of values we hold dear. If ever there was a time to resist, it’s now. And those who are resisting courageously in ways large and small need spaces of refuge and restoration. It’s exhausting and dangerous work. Reimagining is often led by artists, and the movie Black Panther highlighted the power of reimagining alternative futures. I think that much of our work centers on reforming existing systems, supporting people who are working to transform their institutions from the inside out. And, in a few cases, there are genuine efforts to focus energy and attention on recreating ways of being and doing together that bring the imagined future into reality.

I’ve been sensing a growing desire for a lot more reimagining and recreating. What’s the mix in your work and your world?

Leave a comment
February 20, 2018

Not Again!

I am becoming pretty good at compartmentalizing – focusing on the work that is right in front of me, even as more tragedy surrounds us and more outrage wells up within me. It’s certainly functional to be able to do that. But I don’t know that it’s always good. Part of me despairs. How many more people – and especially children – have to die needlessly? How is it that in other countries, people experience mental illness, firing from a job, expulsion from school, and all manner of personal tragedy without turning to mass killings? I want to be in the streets. I want to raise my voice with others in ways that will make a big and immediate difference. I want an end to politicians offering “thoughts and prayers.” I know there is power in prayer, and I also know that powerful prayer motivates powerful, compassionate action.

In a workshop the other day, we were exploring the ways that collaborative leadership practices support organizations and networks in pursuing broader diversity, deeper inclusion, and expanded equity and justice. Someone asked me if I really thought we would ever get closer to justice in this country, given the recent sharp turn we’re taking in the opposite direction. I offered two thoughts in response: (1) I think things are getting much better and much worse at the very same time. There is an expanding consciousness of the sacredness of human life and the interconnectedness of people and the planet; and many people who suffer under oppression are finding ways to resist and to build alternatives. That is all advancing and it’s good. And, the forces of racism, sexism, homophobia, zealotry, and more are also advancing, most recently with tacit and explicit support from the White House.  (2) As a woman of faith, what keeps me going is anticipating that in 50 years, when people look back on this era, they will see it as the last moments of flailing by a dying beast. May it be so!

Our friends at Spirit in Action remind us that there are four interdependent ways to transform society: “reimagine culture, resist domination, reform institutions and recreate society.” Whichever of the “Rs” are in the center of your work, go forth with strength and power!

Leave a comment
September 21, 2017

I Am Only One

 

These days, it’s hard not to drift into apocolyptic thinking. With the fires, floods, hurricanes, earthquakes, mud slides, ongoing flirtation with nuclear war, rising visibility of virulent white supremacy, ending of DACA, daily dismantling of federal level protections of civil rights and the environment, and the list goes on, it’s easy to despair. I keep saying to myself and my colleagues that a strong spiritual core is the only thing that keeps me moving! That, and the reality that it’s actually possible to make some progress within my sphere of control.

I’m reminded of two poems …

I am only one

But still I am one.

I cannot do everything

But still I can do something.

And because I cannot do everything

I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.

— Edward Everett Hale (1822-1909) Unitarian Universalist minister

And this word of caution from A Ritual to Read to One Another by William Stafford

… For it is important that awake people be awake,

or a breaking line may discourage them back to sleep; 

the signals we give — yes or no, or maybe —

should be clear: the darkness around us is deep.

In spite of the times, I hope you are looking for and encouraged by the acts of resistance, reform, recreating and reimagining that are all around us. There is much we can do to advance justice and sustainability, even in these trying times. Think carefully. Love fully. Work together. Practice community care. While each of us is only one, together, we are the ones we’ve been waiting for.

Leave a comment